We miss you, fellow boneheads, and we want to resurrect the pod so... we're launching a Patreon! This is not a regular episode, just a quick update on why we're asking for your support and what you can expect from us.

We’re getting back to our Gideon the Ninth reread after 10,000 years and it’s time to figure out what was going on with all those keys, trials, and the steps of the lyctorhood process!

It’s time to grade ourselves on our theories from our last Nona bonus episode and talk about the major new information we got! Plus there’s a fun quiz, a new Kiss Truther scene to acknowledge, and a Big Goose…

Listen to all the thoughts we had on the biggest Nona the Ninth theories in a special bonus episode we’ve resurrected from dead, one that was recorded before we read the book. This will be followed by another bonus soon where we’ll chat about what we got right and wrong!

Happy Birthday Nona the Ninth!!!!! Please make sure you've finished reading the book before listening to this episode, as it is entirely made of spoilers, as we share our first reactions to Nona in this character-focused episode.

This episode is about one thing only: THE POOL SCENE. Our best friend Nora joined us to celebrate the iconic Chapter 31 and we had so much fun chatting about Gideon and Harrow and the ROMANCE of it all.

Gideon’s discovery of Pro’s head in Harrow’s closet brings up a lot of old childhood secrets and guilt in Chapter 30 and we get a little emotional about it! Then we investigate the kinds of bones you can buy on Etsy and try to match up the Nine House with the planets of our solar system.

Gideon is NOT having a great time in Chapters 28-29, culminating with a horrifying discovery in Harrow's closet. We take a new quiz to see which Locked Tomb houses we truly belong to, then chat about our biggest questions and theories relating to Commander Wake!

We’re guilt spiralling with Gideon in Chapters 26-27, before a fight with Harrow blows up everything and leaves us on a thrilling cliffhanger. Then we talk about the King Undying, the Necrolord Prime, the kindly Prince of Death himself... just some guy named John.

It’s real suffering hours in Chapter 25, as the teens meet their tragic fates in a chapter straight out of a horror movie. We’ve also got the second part of our discussion on Mercymorn and Augustine, and it’s time to talk about French existentialism and the mortifying ordeal of being known. Banger after banger!

We’re back with sexy duels and sexy bones! Canaan House is plunged into chaos as everyone fights for the keys in Chapters 23-24, and then we get into the first of a two-part discussion about the horrible saints of Joy and Patience.

It’s getting tense at Canaan House in Chapters 21-22, but don’t worry, we lighten the mood with a classic game of fuck, marry, kill before launching into a discussion of what we know about the original lyctors—and whether any of them might still be alive.

Our tenth episode is here! Gideon and Harrow are taking on the horrors of the avulsion trial in Chapter 20, and then it’s time to have a talk about Cytherea.

In our recap of Chapters 18-19, Gideon and Harrow explore the very well-preserved rooms of a mysterious “G” and “P,” so we took the opportunity to discuss everything we know (and the many more things we don’t know!) about Gideon the First, Pyrrha Dve, and one of the weirdest love triangles we’ve ever seen.

It’s time for the epic highs and lows of Canaan House, as Gideon and Harrow defeat the winnowing trial and then stumble into a murder mystery in Chapters 16-17. We discussed the parallels between GTN & And Then There Were None.

In Chapters 14-15, Gideon and Harrow tackle the winnowing trial together and attend a dinner party. Then your hosts are on an emotional roller coaster from a fun personality quiz to the Tragedy of the Terrible Teens.

This week, we’re recapping Gideon and Harrow finally teaming up in Chapter 13, diving into some horrible corners of the Internet to learn where Harrow could buy bones in the 21st century, and talking about our beloved Third House!

For a very special bonus episode, we interviewed the Locked Tomb series editor Carl Engle-Laird about his experience working on these books with Tamsyn Muir, the decision to split Alecto the Ninth into two books, no-context Nona the Ninth clues, and so much more!

Ambience, baby 💀 This week, we’re recapping Chapter 12, in which Harrow goes missing and it’s Gideon to the rescue—with the help of the Sixth House! We also look at some dubious bones for sale on eBay.

Gideon meets Magnus and the terrible teens, spends time with not one but two new crushes, and we have a big chat about all the queerness in the Locked Tomb series.